Being a Stupid, Lazy and Amoral Therapist
In the field of Gestalt therapy there is a metaphorical notion that may seem strange at first, yet carries a deep meaning for the practice of therapy. It suggests that a therapist should aim to be «stupid», «lazy» and «amoral» — not...
How we shame our inner child — and lose ourselves
How we shame our inner child — and lose ourselves Each of us carries an inner child. The part that dreams. That marvels. That wants to try new things, to take risks, to play, to be seen and wanted. But far too...
HOW VALUES HELP US SOLVE PROBLEMS
From time to time situations arise in our lives when we lose our bearings about where to go, when we do not quite understand what we want. What can be done about this? There are the notions of goals and of values....
People keep hurting my feelings. Is something wrong with me?
Resentment is a feeling connected with the sense of one’s own boundaries and those of another person. It arises where I have expectations of someone. It is not simply a need, but the expectation that the need will be met. And at...
What a Person Without Boundaries Looks Like
A person without boundaries is a very strange creature. They can be endlessly obliging, patient, sensitive, overly responsible: helping everyone, putting up with everything… And at the same time insensitive to other people’s boundaries: such people push in, force their advice or...
TO BE OR TO SEEM?
The whole topic of codependency revolves around deficit. And not only a deficit of love, but also a deficit of identity. What happens to a codependent personality? To put it as a metaphor: you arrive at a new house, and apart from...
Depression in gestalt therapy. Healing through relationship
Treating depression in gestalt therapy is not a quick process, but it is worth it. Healing comes about because clients return to themselves and to deeper experience. And that takes some time. Assessment In gestalt the therapist does not only assess the...
How coping strategies work during stress
Coping strategies are the techniques a person uses (often unconsciously, or only partly consciously) in order to deal with difficult situations and states, especially those the person judges to be excessive or to exceed their personal resources. All of us are in...
We are curious creatures — we are uniquely adaptive.
Sometimes this adaptability becomes an accomplice in our psychological murder. It is quite simple: first you drink your coffee with one spoonful of sugar, then with two, then with three and a pastry. What was unacceptable to you and clearly harmed you...
Basic rules of psychological resilience during wartime
1. Stop waiting for “when this will be over”. It sounds harsh, but waiting like that drains your strength. It will end. Without fail. But you have to act in line with the realities of today. 2. Keep adapting to new conditions,...