People who find it hard to accept support struggle with two things:

– admitting that they need support instead of denying it

– asking for it

Today we will talk about the second one.

Support can be informational, emotional, financial, physical…

What kind of support do you need?

To be listened to, to be recommended a good doctor, to be helped with carrying boxes when you move, or to be lent money until payday…

Listen to yourself: what inner barriers do you meet — do you not feel enough trust in other people, do you not feel that you deserve support, are you afraid of seeming intrusive or of being pushed away?

Imagine that any other person came to you with a request — would you be that harsh with them?

It is important to see and acknowledge the barriers, and at the same time to stay focused on your need for support.

To avoid disappointment, it is worth asking for a particular kind of support from people who are actually able to give it.

If your mother cannot listen and immediately starts taking action, the chance of getting simple emotional support from her is low.

Do not look for water in dry wells.

If right now you have no people able to support you, sessions with a psychologist or a group may become such a source.

Try to ask directly and out loud for what you need.

For example:

In our culture it is not very common to give positive feedback; it is assumed to be obvious anyway.

Yet it is important to thank people directly and out loud for sharing their time and care with you. Think about whether you can help these people in the future: mutual support strengthens relationships.

Repeat this manual)

Asking for support is a skill, much like riding a bicycle.

It needs to be developed and maintained.

People are social beings, we are interdependent and we need interaction with others.

Remind yourself that taking care of yourself includes being supported by other people.