Sometimes this adaptability becomes an accomplice in our psychological murder.

It is quite simple: first you drink your coffee with one spoonful of sugar, then with two, then with three and a pastry.

What was unacceptable to you and clearly harmed you becomes “well, it’s fine”.

Tolerance to poisons develops through regularly taking that poison in micro-doses.

You would think that anyone intuitively understands what is dangerous for them and what harms them. Unconsciously we sense that we are in danger.

But this sense of “being treated well” is easy to burn out and distort, especially in those who were crippled from childhood by sick families.

You can wish for better, absorb the blows, swallow what is bitter and simply let it go in one ear and out the other. But you are only raising the level of danger:

when inside the relationship you constantly endure and stay silent;

when you write off the violence directed at you as personality traits;

when your bones, the ones that ache before a storm, are broken again and again, reaching down to your deepest wounds;

when your pain is ignored;

when you constantly explain to yourself that there was no malice in the other person’s behaviour;

when people speak to you in a humiliating, haughty or indifferent tone;

when you get one sweet and someone else gets five;

when you stop believing your own feelings;

when your psychological needs are ignored;

when you do not receive support in the form you need it;

when communication comes to rest on the threat of losing resources or safety (economic abuse, for example);

when you are deceived, and the duties of a healthy relationship are evaded;

when nobody looks after you or cares about you;

when you look for the problem in yourself, but it brings no positive result: no way out and no substantial improvement in the situation;

when you choose your words carefully and take on the role of a filter, because the other person’s disproportionate reactions frighten you, unsettle you or provoke a burning helplessness;

when you start to avoid contact, connection and relationships;

when your healthy sense of healthy guilt is used to gain an advantage over you;

when you are forced to take on more responsibility because you feel sorry for the other person;

when your physical health gets worse.

Then … run.

Just save yourself.

Otherwise the person across from you will destroy you.