How gestalt therapy looks at narcissistic, schizoid and borderline personality traits
Imagine a child growing up in a world where you have to be either perfect, or feel nothing at all, or constantly balance on the edge of chaos in order to survive. This, in fact, is not so rare.
The way a child — and later an adult — responds to an unhealthy environment in the family or in society is not a choice. It is a way of adjusting.
And what a clinical specialist calls a “personality disorder”, in gestalt therapy we see as a fixed creative adjustment: a strategy that was once vital, but in adulthood becomes a serious limitation.
What is good about this, and what is not?
✔️ The good part is that this adaptation once truly helped the person cope with an environment where there was no choice.
❌ The bad part is that it has become so automatic and fixed that it no longer allows the person to respond flexibly to reality and to build healthy relationships in the present.
Is this a clinical disorder, or can it be changed?
The answer depends on how it shows up.
If a person is in severe distress, cannot function, or suffers from an intense sense of inner emptiness, medication support may also be needed.
But if it is simply a particular way of being in the world that brings difficulties yet can be worked with, this is exactly the field for therapy.
What attitude should a gestalt therapist hold?
❌ Do not fix the client.
❌ Do not hand out labels and diagnoses.
✔️ Help the person become aware of their patterns.
✔️ Explore together how those patterns affect their life.
✔️ Give them room to experiment with new ways of being in relationship and to look for healthy ways of expressing what arises.
What becomes figure in the field in therapy with such clients?
Does the therapist feel idealised or devalued?
Does the client avoid contact or test the boundaries?
This is not merely their behaviour — it is a way of being in relationship that can be explored here and now, while looking for alternative ways of building one’s life.