Every person carries different inner voices that shape our behaviour and our self-perception.

Two such figures in our inner world are the inner child and the inner critic.

The interaction between these two aspects of the personality can have a considerable effect on our emotional life, and on the feeling of shame in particular.

THE INNER CHILD

The inner child stands for our most innocent, feeling and spontaneous part.

It is the part of us that holds childhood memories, emotions and unresolved conflicts.

It is often associated with qualities such as creativity, joy and the capacity to play, but it can also carry pain and fears.

THE CRITIC

The inner critic, on the other hand, is a voice shaped by cultural norms, family rules and social expectations. This voice often criticises, judges, and may hold high standards for oneself and for others.

Sometimes the inner critic can be a source of motivation and self-improvement, but more often it becomes a cause of self-condemnation and negative self-evaluation.

HOW THEY LIVE TOGETHER

There is a close connection between the inner child and the inner critic.

The inner critic often appears as a response to the vulnerability of the inner child, an attempt to protect it from possible pain or disappointment.

Yet when the critic becomes too dominant, it can suppress the needs and desires of the inner child, giving rise to feelings of shame and inadequacy.

AND WHERE DOES SHAME COME IN?

Shame arises when a person feels that their inner world or their actions are unacceptable or unworthy in the eyes of others.

The inner critic, by reinforcing these beliefs, can produce a strong sense of shame, limiting a person’s ability to express their inner child and its needs openly and freely.

Such a dynamic calls for awareness and inner work in order to balance these inner voices.

Psychotherapy, especially the kinds that focus on work with the inner child, can help to understand and integrate these aspects of the personality, to reduce the influence of the inner critic and, as a result, to reduce the feeling of shame.