The paradoxical theory of change is often misunderstood, which gives rise to myths and mistaken ideas.

This theory, built on self-acceptance, holds that real change happens when we accept ourselves fully, not when we try to become someone else.

Let us debunk some of these myths.

Myth 1:

SELF-ACCEPTANCE MEANS GIVING UP ON CHANGE ALTOGETHER

The reality:

Self-acceptance does not mean giving up on change or self-development. In fact it creates a solid foundation for positive change, because it grows out of love and respect for oneself rather than out of self-criticism or dissatisfaction.

Myth 2:

THE PARADOXICAL THEORY OF CHANGE DENIES THE VALUE OF EFFORT

This theory does not deny the value of effort or of working on oneself.

It simply holds that effective change begins with accepting yourself in the present moment, which allows your efforts to become more meaningful and better directed.

Myth 3:

THE PARADOXICAL THEORY OF CHANGE IS PASSIVE

Self-acceptance is not a passive process but an active choice.

It calls for awareness, self-reflection and often for the courage to face your own fears and limitations.

Myth 4:

THIS THEORY IS NOT SUITABLE FOR PEOPLE WITH SERIOUS PROBLEMS

On the contrary, the paradoxical theory of change can be especially useful for people facing serious challenges.

Self-acceptance can help to reduce inner resistance and support a deeper personal transformation.

Myth 5:

THE THEORY PROMOTES SELFISHNESS

True self-acceptance is far from selfishness.

It rests on deep self-respect, which includes responsibility for your own life and wellbeing as well as regard for the needs of others.