As we know, codependent relationships are strong and long-lasting.

There is, however, little in them of:

happiness

mutual respect

freedom

interest

creativity

life in general

If you ignore all that, it is perfectly possible to live this way.

But if these values matter to you, the points below will help you take another look at your relationship.

So then — what do you need to do to make a relationship ever more codependent?

Simply carry on:

Hide your feelings, especially the negative ones. Never get angry and never speak about your discomfort. Endure everything you dislike.

Always be in a good mood and content. Avoid any situation that might stir negative feelings in your partner.

Do nothing that could upset, offend or wound their pride. Their feelings are your responsibility.

You should have no personal space. Everything must be shared: friends, free time, passwords.

Your opinion must not exist separately either — you are one whole, and you must think alike.

There is no place for boundaries in a relationship, after all, you love each other.

Priorities:

Your partner’s happiness always comes first. If your interests are not to their liking — give them up. Your needs can wait.

Having secrets or doing anything without permission is betrayal. Always account for every moment of your life.

Control your partner: call often, check their phone and social media.

Intimacy:

Sex must always happen, even when you do not want it, because otherwise he (she) will go to someone else.

If there is no pleasure — fake it. There is no need to talk about it, let them work it out themselves.

Communication:

Telepathy is the basis of communication. If they love you, they will guess. If not — take offence.

Avoid clarifying and checking things out, it is a waste of time.

Turn a blind eye to disrespect towards you, convince yourself that it comes from love.

Manipulation:

Convince your partner that they are helpless and will be lost without you. No one will ever love them as you do.

There is no need to look after yourself or to grow — that is for people who are still looking for a partner.

The victim position:

Every request of yours should sound like a complaint. Your partner must change, because they are the reason you are unhappy.

Never take responsibility for your own happiness.

Why do people stay in such relationships?

The main reason is a sense of safety.

Another person is there beside you, you are not alone, there is someone to live for.

Leaving a codependent relationship is frightening, because it means meeting loneliness, shame, and the fear of living on your own.

To dare to change, it is important to have the support of those around you, inner resources (knowledge, skills, achievements) and, ideally, psychotherapy to help you live through this transitional period.