Far too often another person becomes extraordinarily valuable to us only because we devalue ourselves.

It takes considerable courage to ask the fundamental question:

For example, if I want someone else to take care of my self-esteem, then my expectations are addressed to the wrong place.

If I expect another person to be a good parent and to look after me, then I am not yet quite grown up.

If I expect another person to deliver me from the fears and terrors of life’s journey, then I am evading the main task and the very reason for my being here on earth.

Of every projection we must ask ourselves:

And everything we ask about others, we need to ask about ourselves.

And if … there is courage enough, to say:

Psychoanalyst James Hollis

“The Eden Project: In Search of the Magical Other”