The syndrome of the superfluous person
How shame and guilt shape the road into codependent relationships
A lecture with Iryna Shcherbakova
Have you ever felt that there is too much of you?
That you are taking up someone else’s place?
That you ought to «behave more modestly», «not get in the way», «be more convenient»?
WHAT THIS LECTURE IS ABOUT
Shame and guilt are not simply unpleasant feelings.
They are the roots from which dozens of our life decisions grow.
They are what often shapes our «yes» when we want to say «no». They are what makes us put up with what destroys us. They are what leads us into relationships in which we disappear, again and again.
This lecture is not about gaining confidence in an hour and a half.
It is about seeing where the feeling of being superfluous comes from, and why the road into codependency begins precisely there.
WE WILL TALK ABOUT:
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how shame works its way into identity
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how guilt keeps us in toxic bonds
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what the difference is between shame and guilt
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why we go on pleasing others even when it destroys us
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and how, step by step, to reclaim the right to be yourself
WHO THIS LECTURE IS FOR
This meeting is for those who want to take a wider look at the script someone once wrote for them: «be there for others, not for yourself».
I intend to make a space that is deeply interesting and free of pressure.
Without shame — about shame. Without guilt — about guilt.
Iryna Shcherbakova
LECTURER
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certified gestalt therapist
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trainer of level two at KIGiP
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leads supervision groups and the specialisation «Working with codependency in the gestalt approach»
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her main focus is codependent relationships, difficulty in recognising outer and inner boundaries, and difficulty in building relationships
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works with shame, guilt and self-esteem, with crises and trauma, with anxiety and phobic disorders, panic attacks and depression
DATE AND TIME: 12 May 2025
19:00–20:30 Kyiv time
FORMAT:
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online
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on Zoom
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a recording will also be available for those who cannot attend live
COST:
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UAH 400
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full prepayment is required