The main difference between attachment in infants and in adults is that children, unlike adults, cannot choose those on whom they depend, usually cannot leave the caregiver, and do not have enough power to make these objects change their attitude towards them.

(Nancy McWilliams)

All the information about your past is present in your present.

Our present-day relationships are a re-enactment of your unresolved problems from earlier relationships.

What happens in early childhood that matters for relationships?

In infancy, when we were fed and cared for, we experienced a state of bliss that seemed to last forever.

But most parents cannot attune to their child flawlessly. And there are objective reasons for this.

So all of us carry unmet needs from that time of bliss. For some the deficit is sharper, for others it is milder.

This is exactly how codependent relationships arise: it seems that the only way out is to reproduce that primary bliss in a relationship with a partner.

In a codependent relationship the partner becomes like a helpless infant who could not survive without its parents.

Codependency grows out of the illusion that everything our parents did not give us can now be provided by a partner.

That is: safety, unconditional acceptance, comfort in grief and entertainment when we are bored, responsibility for our happiness and for our life as a whole.

And the more insatiable this need is, the stronger the urge will be to merge with the partner, in order to find oneself again, if only for a moment, in the “lost paradise”.

We invite you to a lecture in which we will:

talk about what emotional dependency is — a frequent reason for turning to a psychotherapist;

try to examine this phenomenon in the round: its nature and the ways of working through it.

Who is this lecture for?

for psychology students,

for practising specialists,

for anyone who is simply interested in understanding emotional dependency in more detail.

The lecture counts towards the record book of KIGP students.