One of the happiest decisions of my life was to let people think whatever comes into their heads about me…
After all, it is their head, their thoughts, and their time spent on whatever they saw fit…
What has that got to do with me?
And then came an incredible freedom…
I am no longer afraid of disappointing anyone!
I will not spend a single minute on an argument…
I will not enter a single debate…
I will not set out to prove that I am right, or wrong…
I cannot be bothered…
And I am very sorry about the time when I could be bothered…
When I could be bothered to force myself into company I did not want…
When I could be bothered to hold silly conversations and exchanges with people who did not interest me, people who wished to pin on me the subjective label of their own complexes rather than mine, or to discuss with me what I did not wish to discuss with them…
When I could be bothered to say YES while everything inside was screaming NO…
When I could be bothered to justify an opinion that I never impose on anyone, but about which I also ask no one to talk me round…
Learn to be lazy…
Because it is precisely this laziness that will keep you for the people who matter most in your life…
It will let you help those who truly need your help, without spending time on those who only want to go round in circles…
It will also give freedom to those who cannot stand you yet for some reason keep pushing into your life to report the fact…
And this laziness will quickly put your life in order, after which it will hold only what you actually need…
Freeing yourself from what is unnecessary, on any level, is one of the conditions for preserving psychological health — and any other kind of health as well…
Nothing destroys us as much as dependence on other people’s opinions and the violence we do to ourselves when we constantly try to live up to someone’s expectations and to be good for everyone…
Have mercy on yourself!
Do not take on the duty of emotionally servicing those who have decided that their opinion of you should affect your life…
No one but you yourself should have influence over your life…
So let them think about us … while their life goes by…
And we will live … while they think…
© Lilia Hrad