Sometimes we say this phrase lightly, almost as a joke.
But at times it sounds like a silent verdict on ourselves.
Not knowing what you want means doing the right things without energy. Agreeing without taking part. Growing tired even of what is supposed to bring joy.
«I don’t know what I want» is not always about the absence of dreams.
Often it is the consequence of having been shown — yesterday, a year ago, or in childhood:
👉 asking is dangerous,
👉 wanting is shameful,
👉 showing yourself is risky.
What lies behind this state in the gestalt approach?
🔹 Retroflection
Instead of directing my energy outward, I hold it inside.
I do not act, I do not speak, I do not even admit that I want something.
🔹 Shame and the fear of being «too much»
There was a time when it was dangerous to speak about needs.
There was «not now, not about you».
There was «don’t be difficult».
There was «put up with it».
And now I no longer even know what it is to want something sincerely.
🔹 Life «on autopilot»
Instead of «I want» — «I have to».
Instead of «this is for me» — «this is the right thing to do».
I follow the path of habit, but I do not choose it.
🌀 Sometimes we do not know what we want — because we never really ask ourselves.
Because we have no language for contact with ourselves.
Because behind every answer stands the fear that it is unrealistic or «selfish».
✨ But the gestalt approach is precisely the philosophy that does not impose answers.
It teaches you to listen to yourself.
To notice where «I don’t know» is genuine, and where it is «I am not allowed to».
📚 If these words resonate with you, we invite you to the gestalt therapy training.
The next group starts on 21 June 2025 in an online format.
The training lasts 1 year and suits:
🔸 those who want to become gestalt therapists,
🔸 and those who simply seek deeper contact with themselves and living relationships with people.
This is more than a course. It is a return to yourself — step by step.
What you want is already within you. It does not need to be invented. You only need to give yourself the right to hear it.