The paradoxical theory of change is a concept that comes from psychotherapy, but it fits beautifully any life situation where you are trying to change something… and nothing works.

Picture this:

You have decided to lose weight.

You buy a gym membership, install a calorie-counting app, and buy trainers that cost about as much as a small island.

But the harder you try, the stronger your irresistible urge to eat a whole pizza… on your own… in one evening.

The essence of the paradoxical theory of change is that real change happens when we accept ourselves as we are.

Which means you first have to accept the fact that you are a pizza lover.

Not comforting, but true.

And then, suddenly, a wish appears to eat more vegetables (well, perhaps alongside the pizza, but still!).

This theory can be applied to anything: want to be more productive? Accept your laziness.

Want to worry less? Accept the inner voice that keeps saying “but what if…”.

So the key to change is acceptance.

And no, that does not mean you have to give up all your goals and live on the sofa watching whole seasons of series.

It means that change comes when you stop being at war with yourself.

And yes, in time you may even forget why you once loved pizza so much. But for now… maybe one more slice?