You are all right.

You really are all right.

If it seems to you that something is wrong with you, it isn’t so.

If you are anxious and it seems your partner is displeased with you, that doesn’t mean you urgently need to start pleasing them.

The urge to please will be strong, but (see point 1) you are all right, and it is entirely unnecessary.

Learn to hold the tension. If you are anxious – breathe. If you are afraid – breathe. In general, breathe more often.

Remember that you are separate. And your partner is separate too. And moments of union, togetherness and closeness cannot last around the clock.

When you start blaming your partner heavily on the inside (and we know you do it often and at length), go and get on with your own affairs: work, eat ice cream, take a walk. Do something to come out of confluence.

Better still – be openly angry. Yes, it is not easy. Yes, it is frightening. But at least try. Better to say today that you don’t want to do this or that, than a week later, after accumulated resentment, secret searching for another place to live, or an affair out of revenge.

Remember that the relationship matters not only to you. It sounds incredible, but if your partner is beside you, then you probably appeal to them too.

It is hard to believe, but you really can be loved.

Because (point 1) you are all right.

Author – M. Fisher